Dinner Is Served: Zach Galifianakis is in talks to join Dinner for Schmucks, a remake of a 1998 French film, featuring Steve Carell and Paul Rudd and to be directed by Jay Roach. The plot revolves around one man’s weekly dinner party and the most pathetic guest to ever be invited. Galifianakis’s character is an assistant manager at a mattress store who is dating Carrell’s ex-wife, but it’s not made clear if he’s the aforementioned pathetic guest or if he’s a kick-ass assistant manager at a really sweet mattress store. [Variety]

Lew Is True: Gus Van Sant will direct Restless, a “contemporary and distinctive take on young love” written by first-time screenwriter Jason Lew. And how did Lew manage to land his script with Van Sant? He’s buddies with Bryce Dallas Howard, who took the script to her father, Ron, and who then had execs at Imagine Entertainment further develop it until it was brought to Van Sant’s attention. The lesson for aspiring screenwriters? Always be friends with Bryce Dallas Howard. [HR]

Underwater: Director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo (28 Weeks Later) is in talks to helm Bioshock, Universal’s movie adaptation of the video game. Fresnadillo would replace Gore Verbinski, who dropped out when the large-budget shoot was moved abroad to take advantage of tax credits. We guess Uwe Boll was their third choice. [BFDealMemo/Variety]

Crow Cashes In: In a deal worth “in excess of $10 million,” S1 Songs Group, an independent publishing company, has purchased the rights to Sheryl Crow’s back catalogue and has entered into a co-publishing agreement for her next two releases. We’re not sure what that means, other than that we’ll probably be hearing a lot more Sheryl Crow on Scrubs. We’re surprised they were able to put a dollar figure on the arrangement, since the songs of Tuesday Night Music Club alone are priceless. [Variety]

Willing and Abel: Diego Luna will make his feature directorial debut with Abel, a family drama told from the perspective of a child. The movie, now filming in Mexico, is being financed partially by the central Mexican state of Aguascalientes. Finally, the government of Aguascalientes does something to address its stark not-exactly-promising-sounding-family-dramas-from-first-time-directors shortage. [Variety]

Martians: Dominic West and Samantha Morton have joined John Carter of Mars, the sci-fi epic about a Civil War veteran inexplicably transported to Mars, where he’s caught between warring factions. Morton plays the daughter of Willem Dafoe’s warlord Tars Tarkas, while West plays an alcoholic cop who doesn’t play by the rules Sab Than, prince of the Zodangans. [HR]

Scammed: Meat Loaf is currently in the studio recording the as-yet-untitled follow-up to 2006’s Bat Out of Hell III: The Monster Is Loose. Everything is going really great, apparently, especially with producer Rob Cavallo — according to Loaf, “He lets my horses run , and (with) other producers the best I could get out of them was a gallop sometimes. But my horses are running on this record, and I’ll stop my horses from time to time and go, ‘Rob? I don’t know what to do now.’” [Variety]

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